Witnessing Where We Create Mess...And Expanding Ourselves As Human Beings

As human beings, we are going to create mess.

As leaders, creators, and guides, we need to understand where we create it so we can tend to it and grow from what it teaches us.

I created mess this week.

In the default setting of my comfort zone and getting consumed with life, I was met with a glaring insight of where I create mess.

As a leader, as a guide, as a human, one of the most impactful things I have learned how to do is understand my strengths and my weaknesses and how to overcome and apply them.

What happened to me this week was this...

I had multiple contrasting experiences come up in my world, where it was messy and where some energies of the people around me started to collide.

Feelings were hurt, toes were stepped on, boundaries were trampled and I had to witness where I was a part in creating it.


My weakness…

As a human, as a leader of a business and as a facilitator of others, I tend to root into my softness and nurturing. It is an easy place for me to be.

When I am in that space sometimes I can be expansive without boundaries, floating in my creative bubble. I don’t create certainty in my boundaries and I use a soft hand to lead and to guide.

There are times where this energy is deeply effective and also essential to moving myself, my visions, and the people in my world forward.  It is a powerful medicine for my clients and has served me well.

And there are times and moments in my spaces where what is being asked for is a firmer hand, a more assertive energy, and a clarity of what the boundaries around the containers are.

Expanding our range…

We are not one dimensional as human beings and we have a default setting that is easy for us to rely on and come back to.

My soft nurturer is a default. I love who I am in that space. It is easy for me. It feels loving and kind.

That aspect of myself is one I lean in towards the most, in how I hold my clients and my spaces and where I tend to my own visions.

And it is not all of who I am.

Years ago, when I attended a leadership retreat, they spoke to us about range and developing it in our leadership.

I was typed in that space as a fierce and intense energy, which is a true aspect of myself but it was one that I was not comfortable with.

It was a landscape and essence that I had baggage and fear around. I didn’t want to hurt others. I was scared of it and so I trodden around it, denying its presence in my world.

What I have learned in the years I have had guiding others on their journey, building a business, running a business, and teaching and leading people is this...

I cannot just stay in my comfort zone of my range. I can’t stay soft all the time because it doesn’t always serve the space, nor myself or the people that are in it.

I was reminded of this again this week when I found myself face to face with the messes I created in the leadership of my containers. I had to look at how do I recover from this, or right this ship, and tend to the messes and fires that are going on around me?

I looked to my range and tapped into another aspect of my nature that was required to lead my spaces and create clarity within my communications.


Finding our range…

I like to play with archetypes and also lean into the medicine of my herd to find the range and empowerment of an embodiment within myself that is more challenging for me to tap into and go to.

When I go out to my horses and I am finding a loss as to how to address a certain challenge in my life, often what I do is go out with intention with an ask of which horse is going to step forward to help me connect to an aspect of myself that I need to tap into to move my spaces ahead.

As they respond so intuitively to intention, I will often get my answer with who steps into my space and how they step into it.

I used this intention as well when working with my clients in aiding them to find and connect to the range they hold within themselves but often can’t connect to.

A few years ago, one client of mine, did an exercise with me where she had 4 horses step forward for her. Each horse, we spoke about who that horse represented in herself, what aspect of her nature. There was an enforcer, observer, adventurer, and the calm and grounded leader. To this day, she still uses this exercise and connection to the energies of these horses to tune into to know who she needs to be and what energy she needs to apply to successfully move herself, her business, and her visions ahead.

If you don’t have access to a herd like me, I like to use the embodiment of archetypes. I have a nurturer, a warrior, a wise woman, identified as part of the aspects of myself that I tune into to move my life and myself ahead.

This helps me move beyond my own discomfort and baggage of asserting or using different energies to tap into the medicine and strength of the range of who I am as a human to best serve my visions, my business, my relationships, and my clients.

When we stay in our comfort zone, or in a one dimensional palace of being, we are not able to successfully meet or respond to what is happening in our world.

When we are not able to adapt and call upon different parts of ourselves, we risk making a mess in our world. Failure to tend to and lead the places in our spaces is asking us to show up in a different way.

I have to listen to this range to best serve my clients, knowing when a gentle loving space or a fierce call out is needed to empower their transformation. If I stayed in what felt comfortable to me, I would be failing their growth and keeping them small.

In my business, I have to call upon different parts of myself to lead that space forward, otherwise I would have packed it in a long time ago. My introverted and more sensitive nature of who I am doesn’t always want to show up and share with the world. If I allowed myself to stay there and in the comfort of being hidden, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

In my relationships, both personal and professional, when I stay passive or soft, or when I am not able to respond to what is being required of me to engage in what my relationships are asking for, I have created an environment where there has been miscommunication, hurt and lack of knowing of boundaries and spaces.  

When I listen and give courage to who do I need to be in relationship with this, I can connect and create authentic spaces with the people in my world that feels empowering, life giving, and where we are able to work in synergy in what we are creating together.

This is an impactful teaching for us to hold for ourselves. It is one I was reminded of this week that I am offering to you in my community where it resonates.


If it lands for you...

Take some time to be present to where are you perhaps making a mess in your world because of your failure to allow yourself to expand in your range as a human being, a guide, or a leader.

Where are you disempowering the service of what you bring by staying in your comfort zone?

Where can you connect to different places within yourself that will allow you to recover and create a different space in what you are holding within yourself and your world?

What part of you is wanting to step forward to lead you that you have potentially not allowing to do so?

I also recorded a video this weekend to speak about this if you would like to watch it please follow the link below…


You have a wealth and depth of mastery within you, if you allow yourself to tap into it. This is perhaps the invitation to explore that.

Love your coach and guide,

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