Why is it so hard for us to claim our clarity?
To witness where we know the answers to our questions?
To hold the space of empowerment over what we know to be true within ourselves?
Why does this sometimes feel like the most impossible task to hold for ourselves?
In many of the conversations I have with other women whom I mentor and coach, one of the very first pieces that they come to me about is this...
I am not clear.
I don’t know the way forward.
I don’t know what my purpose is.
I don’t know where to shift in my business.
I lack clarity.
I will tell you that, most often, it is not the case that they don’t have clarity on their path, or direction, or what they are being asked to claim in their lives.
Most of the time, it is because fear is in the undercurrent of their quest, and their fear is masking as confusion, making it hard to step into where they do have clarity.
It is hard for us to claim our clarity because we are scared of the implications that will happen when we do.
We are afraid it might mean we have to actually take action when we have been procrastinating.
Or let go of a vision or relationship what wasn’t meant to be.
We lack faith in our ability to build anew, change directions, and to trust that whatever we are being asked to step away from, dismantle, or move towards will be exactly what we need and what will bring us closer to what we desire for ourselves, our life and our professional spaces.
As human beings, we are afraid of change. We like to stay safe, in our comfort zones, and be in control of how things are.
We don’t like facing our fears. We tend to move away from discomfort, and shy away from growth because we assume it is going to take us on a dark road where there will be more confusion and chaos.
Here is the truth…
The hardest part is the process in which we go from fear to empowerment.
When our thoughts get in the way and build up a story and a drama of how things are going to go...
When we let fear dictate what we know, or how we pursue our journeys, we are staying safe in a space that is not meant for where we are going.
It is hard for us to claim our clarity in these moments because we lack trust in ourselves, in the greater plan, and our ability to step through the channel of discomfort.
Here are some words of wisdom I wish to give you today...
Discomfort is not going to kill you. It feels uncomfortable but staying in the place of confusion is going to cause you more grief than moving through it.
You know. Clarity lives within you. It is just buried under the fear right now. Confusion is a mask of fear. Let’s own that. It is not that you don't know.
Whatever challenge or obstacle you need to move through to get to your clarity, or to empower it will not conquer you. We find and remember our strength when we face opportunities to grow. Don’t let the fear keep you in a place of bypassing the discovery of your own strength and walking the path that is calling you forward.
It is going to be ok. Whatever change is being asked of you, know that we are never moved in a direction unless we are capable of holding it, or if it wasn’t what we were asking for on a deeper level.
Your relationships will survive. You will be loved. People will embrace you and there will be those who will celebrate you as you leap towards the clarity that is driving you forward.
Seek out spaces the remind yourself of your courage, which holds you accountable to your bravery, and do not allow yourself to let the fear take you in circles away from where you are clear. Mentorship, community, friendships. Settle into them. Let them feed you and lean into the spaces of support that you have.
A brief story and example of what I am speaking to here...
I had a woman journey with me for 6 months and that included a 3 day retreat with the horses. She came to us because she felt lackluster in her business and was uncertain about a new direction.
She was unaware of her strengths and not sure of where she was wanting to evolve in her vision. She just knew she was stuck and dissatisfied with what the current landscape of her business looked like.
On her arrival at our retreat center, we sat down on the porch outside the lodge and had a conversation.
I like to allow people to speak organically and pay attention to what comes up for them. She started to share her vision of her work, the legacy she wanted to build, excitement building as she did.
I smiled to myself as she spoke and then I turned to her and said this…
So you are clear.
She chuckled a little back to me. She was in fact deeply certain of her way forward.
So what’s the issue, I asked her, and then, the truth came out.
She was afraid that where she wanted to evolve in her practice was not going to manifest the way she envisioned.
She was afraid that the clients she was dreaming of working with didn’t exist.
She doubted herself in being able to hold the spaces of her work that felt deeply connected to.
She was clear and she was afraid.
Over the course of 6 months, I held her in her clarity, the transformation of her work. We navigated beyond her fears. She changed the model of her business and stepped into creating through the vision of her clarity.
She found her passion in her work again. She attracted new clients. She added the escape of horses alongside her own work. This was a dream of hers to bring horses into what she did with clients.
She had her best first quarter in business, rebranded herself to a greater authenticity and found the realignment of her work.
There is a deep simplicity to the undercurrent of where we get stuck.
It is this…
We are afraid.
To make the change, to follow our path, to honor our congruency and say yes to where a part of ourselves is directing us to create through another certainty and power in our work.
If you find yourself resonating with this, take some time to be with this...
What is the clarity I am afraid of claiming?
What part of me knows that it is safe for me to claim my clarity?
And what are the first steps to take towards it?
If you resonate with this post, I would love for you to share it. If you would like to join our community, Member Vault, where I share a free resource library, you can do so here.
If you are a purpose driven visionary or entrepreneur that is seeking a space to be held in your clarity as you move into bigger spaces of your leadership and vision, and are looking for a place to be held in accountability in that, and are drawn and curious about the containers we hold for our community, connect with us here.
Wishing you deep courage to claim all the you are certain of.
Love your coach and guide,