Dancing with Our Dark Horse

Last night was the blood full moon, and the day before, I watched two of my horses play that I had never seen engage before.

A message emerged that I wanted to speak and share with you today about our ability to dance with our shadows.

We are human, and being human, part of the navigation of our world is learning how to be in relationship with all aspects of ourselves, embracing them as purely as we can embrace the good things.

Perhaps, I am not unlike you. I have been a seeker of my own truth and potential for most of my life, and as someone who considers herself to be “spiritual”, I didn't give myself much room for making mistakes or tolerance for my own humanity.

I lacked compassion for myself, in my flaws and mistakes. I made myself wrong for the things I didn’t know how to do or the suffering I put myself through.

Horses have taught me much, but one of the most empowering lessons they taught me was about the acceptance of who I am at the core of me.

To be neutral without judgement when I am looking at myself, and in this way, it has given me courage to lift back the veils to be witness of myself in new ways, and have the ability to see my humanity through a new lens.

I believe that courage comes when we are able to witness ourselves without judgement, but with kindness. Dancing with our shadows and the parts of ourselves that we are not always comfortable with means that we are moving with them the same way we move with the parts of ourselves that we love.

When we hold judgement on ourselves, when we are harsh with how we witness and hold ourselves in the world, we are not allowing ourselves the pathways to experiencing our true nature or moving beyond where we feel stuck in our own way.

Our shadows, our fears are part of us. I remember, years ago, when I was first getting into the space of personal growth, I had this belief that I had to get rid of all that, death to the ego! And so when I caught myself there I would be harsh and judgmental and fearful of being in that space.

I realized years later it is not realistic for me to “rid” myself of these parts of myself. Also, they have wisdom and purpose as well. So I changed my relationship to I will embrace these parts of myself. I will dance with them and witness them the same way I do the other pieces of myself.

I will tell you why this is an important message.

When we want to shift beyond our own place of doubt, fear, wounds, the judgement of them is not healing them, It is creating more energy around them so we get stuck.

If you want to shift something within you, you have to embrace that it is there. Be gentle and curious about what it is offering you and how you can your perspective shift around it.

I am human and I always will be.

I have fears and doubts. I have places of wounding and shadows like everyone else. They travel with me. Sometimes they create space where I can’t move, and other times, they bring me into deeper alignment with myself.

But I no longer hate them, or resent them, or pretend they are not there, or ignore their presence within me.

This weekend, as I watched two of my horses dancing together, Jet and Indra, who have not done that before... Jet can be a bit of a bully with other horses. Sometimes the other geldings won’t play with him because they don’t trust his intention, but there was Indra dancing and playing with him. And I got that he knows in his wisdom how to be with that energy. Jet has purpose too in his assertive and sometimes “Aggressive” energy. He has taught me the lesson of not judging the things I am uncomfortable with, but instead seeing the medicine in it.

He is learning too, as we are. He is also evolving, and as I watched these two horses play and run and kick up their heels, I witnessed something in that.

I can change the relationship with the parts of me that I don’t always like if I learn how to dance with them in new ways, and then, instead of them feeling like they are pricking me or part of my flawed nature I can instead integrate them into new places within myself.

If this resonates with you..

Look to where you are pushing away parts of you, uncomfortable with your flaws, judging yourself for your mistakes and if you could embrace them instead, as part of you, dance with them in a place of compassion and gentleness, and see how things soften around them.

We create space when we do this, and the unconditional embracing of who we are becomes a powerful medicine that we give to ourselves, and also to others, and to our path.

An invitation to you to dance with your dark parts in a different way, hold them in a different light and witness what happens when you do.

Love your coach and guide,

Hillary

P.S. A reminder for my women entrepreneurs: On Wednesday, I am holding space for a free virtual retreat to speak about the journey of creating success around our gifts and empowering our vision of creating a practice around our purpose. If you are stuck, or feeling overwhelmed in any pieces of growing or starting your business of purpose, come join me.

The Business Mastery Virtual Retreat

And for those that are moved to join us in the space of horse medicine, our retreats are now open for enrollment. If you are seeking a space of retreat for yourself, to grow into clarity of purpose, moving past fears and being held in the deep space of horse wisdom, we would love welcome you to the retreat this year.

Check out our retreat page here.



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