I have always been a dreamer since I was a young girl.
I remember lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking deeply about my place in the world and what I was meant for.
I would daydream constantly, imagining a life that was lived some place far away and, most of the time, felt more connected to this place then I did real life.
Horses were not part of my life as a young girl besides summer spent at riding camps.
I didn’t grow up on a farm, I didn’t have a horse growing up, nor did I have the opportunity to ride them throughout my year.
But I was obsessed nonetheless. There was something about horses that called deeply to me. It was as if when I was around them I was more alive. I felt grounded and connected to something else that moved in me.
As a sensitive child and also person in general, my withdrawal into my own self had me become disconnected to the grounded reality of purpose.
Horses were my gateway and safe place. They beckoned me to be more present, to pay attention and to be connected to something other than the internal world within myself.
When I was younger, the concept of purpose called to me, but I didn’t really know what that meant. I was continuously asking the question of "what is my purpose" seeking it out externally.
One day, I visited a horse breeding farm with my mother and sisters when I was thirteen. My mom was doing an article about the breeders and there was a moment standing in the arena listening to the girl that worked for them speak about her education and horse breeding when something clicked in me.
That’s my purpose. To be a horse breeder. So, at 13 years old, I decided that was what it was supposed to be.
My focus for my teenage years where just to get out of high school and get into Olds College in Alberta – the only school for horse breeding that existed in Canada, accepting only 10 people in the program per year.
And in 2002, I got in and started my journey to becoming a horse breeder.
Fast forward a few years later, where I found myself in the real life of being a horse breeder and quickly discovered this was not, in fact, my purpose. To put it lightly, the fantasy I created in my head about what life as a horse breeder was did not match reality.
I realized quickly that I was seeking something else... Fulfillment, meaning, positive impact... And being a horse breeder wasn’t it.
A twist that was at that time extremely traumatic for me to go through: I had attached this idea of purpose to a certain career. And when that didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be, I was lost to "now what?"
Let me bring it back to the horses...
I knew deeply that horses were a part of my purpose because of how I felt around them. They were my lifeline and access point to something deeper but I struggled to clearly define or to know what exactly that meant or was supposed to look like.
What horses taught me about purpose is this..
It’s not about a career, or a box you put yourself in, or a defined definition of what you think it is.
Purpose is a movement. It is a connection. It is a feeling.
Our purpose is to live deeply in presence and in life.
Purpose is not a form that is static or takes on the same form for everyone. We all define purpose differently but we are so quick to attach it to a thing, a career, a meaning that we then chase down and live in fear about never reaching.
Purpose doesn’t need us to find it.
It can’t be found in our outside world because it exist within us.
Purpose takes on many forms. My purpose is not to be a coach, or a teacher. It is not to be a horse breeder or an equine guided facilitator. Those are expressions of a purpose but my purpose is not defined to that.
Purpose is felt. It’s experienced through us in multiple forms.
And if we let go and just allow the expression of that to unfold, we make life a lot easier on ourselves.
Purpose is a gateway to a deeper expression and experience of ourselves, knowing the depth of our own wisdom, our creativity and our possibilities.
Purpose cannot be contained. It is expansive and it has a heartbeat of its own. Our job is to listen to that heartbeat and give it the expression it is seeking in that moment.
We are obsessed with purpose, we want to know what it is and it’s a lot more simple than we think.
It’s obvious in its form.
Our purpose is to live deeply and truthfully in ourselves, to pay attention to our inner stirrings and to trust where it is wanting to guide us.
If you are someone that is currently chasing your purpose, wondering what it is and what form it wants to take, here are better questions for you:
- If you knew what your purpose was, what would it be?
- What do you enjoy doing?
- What lights you up?
- What are you curious about right now?
- What skills or careers or teachings pull at you right now?
- Where do you want to explore?
- What if you were to just listen and let purpose speak to you instead of trying to figure out what it is?
I followed the path of horses for a long time, thinking that they were the key to my purpose and they were, just not in the form I suspected.
The horses brought me to a deeper understanding of purpose within my life.
Simply, my purpose is to live deeply, authentically, boldly as me being in pursuit of carrying forth my dreams and desires for my life. Whether that is in the work I do as a coach, or equine facilitator, or my role as a businesswoman and entrepreneur, or in my personal life.
My purpose really simply is more about discovering aspects of myself and living through them than a career.
What horses taught me about purpose is….
It is simple, wild, deep and untamed. And it’s our job to allow it to unleash itself in our lives through whatever expression it wants to in that moment, to stay grounded and connected to our truth and live through that.