A DRASTIC CHANGE AND THE CATALYST THAT MADE IT SO

I want to paint a picture for you…

A picture of what my life was like up until a year ago.

My life, on the outside, has been, for quite a few years, one that has inspired people and have had me hear comments of how brave I was, courageous for following my dreams and inspiring for doing so.

On the inside, it was a different story. 

My internal landscape looked something like this:

I was scared. I was insecure. I was filled with self-doubt. I lacked confidence in my abilities. I could not see my value and had terribly low self-esteem.

From the outside, you might not have picked that up.

From the inside, I struggled a lot.

My internal mind chatter went something like this:

Who do you think you are??

You can’t!

You are too young, no one is going to listen to what you have to say!

You aren’t smart enough!

You are not cool enough!

You are weird, strange and out there!

I struggled with a perception I had carried around about myself since I was younger… as most of us do.

I was never really a kid that fit in too well.. I didn’t know how to relate to my peers. I felt awkward and out of place. I was a loner with a horse obsession and a penchant for deep thinking.

And underneath that I was worried.

I was terrified people wouldn’t like me. I questioned why people would want to hang out with me, what was so great about who I was. I had no idea what I had to offer the world or anyone that would want to be friends with me.

I walked around with a pretty constant fear and worry and anxiety that I was going to be found out.

Even when I was facilitating or coaching, or doing a reading for someone, I would be terrified that I wasn’t saying anything of value, that I wasn’t helping. and after a session I would spend hours going over of it thinking about all the things I should have said.

Sound familiar?

TRUTH IS MOST OF US HAVE AN INTERNAL LANDSCAPE THAT LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

We are consumed by our judgements of who we are, focused on our faults and our flaws and, even worse, we believe them.

We walk around wearing a distorted lens of ourselves – one that is cracked and dirty, muddied with other people’s projections that we have twisted into our own.

We see the worst in ourselves, not being able to possibly believe that there is anything else but this.

We are not kind to ourselves. We seek out our faults and we look for evidence of them in our outside world.

Every time we mess up, or we hear a bad word spoken about us, we take it as true. We wear it, we absorb it and we start to identify with it.

And it’s not true…

The drastic thing I did for myself last year was take off that distorted and unfavourable lens and put on a new one.

I VOWED THAT I WAS GOING TO SPEAK KINDER TO MYSELF, TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY OF A MISTAKE OF AN UNKIND WORD TO LOVE MYSELF MORE, AND TO FOCUS ON MY STRENGTHS.

And so I retired that dirty broken lens and replaced it with something more clean, more pure and more reflective of who I really was.

I used to say to myself, "I wish I could see myself the way others did, because others seemed to always have such a better perspective of me."

And another…

"What if I saw myself through the eyes of my own soul? Or through the lens of one of my horses or my dog?"

And so…

That is what I did.

The impact of that perspective shift was monstrous.

Here is what happened.

MY ANXIETY EASED, MY STRESS WENT DOWN, MY WORRY CEASED TO CONSUME MY LIFE, I FELT BRIGHTER, LIGHTER AND MORE AVAILABLE FOR DEEPER AND MORE SOULFUL CONNECTIONS IN MY LIFE.

And my external world started to shift, too.

I have had people come and ask me, "How did you create such a drastic shift in your business?"

(Which looked like struggling and barely keeping my head above water to thriving and being at a place where I was able to afford to purchase my dream property.)

The answer?

I shifted how I viewed myself.

It had that much of an impact.

Why?

WHEN WE FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT OURSELVES, WHEN WE FEEL GOOD ABOUT WHO WE ARE AND WHAT WE DO, WHEN WE NURTURE OUR STRENGTHS INSTEAD OF OUR FLAWS, WELL, ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE FEEL MUCH MORE CAPABLE OF PUTTING OURSELVES OUT IN THE WORLD.

We make ourselves available for opportunities and for clients because we know we can serve them, which leads of course to success in our finances and in our business.

But, deeper than that...

When we feel at peace, when our energy is consumed by love and not fear, we are much more available for what we seek.

And…

We find a deeper fulfillment within ourselves.

I AM TRUE BELIEVER THAT THE SUCCESS, THE WEALTH, THE LOVE AND EVERYTHING ELSE WE ARE DESIRING TO CREATE IN OUR LIVES, COMES FIRST FROM FINDING THAT ALIGNMENT AND TRUTH WITHIN OURSELVES.

Chasing something in our external environment when we don’t have the resonance or capacity within ourselves to receive it, is a fruitless dance that will end nowhere but in dead ends and disappointments.

However…

When we focus our will on being mindful of how we see ourselves, how we hold ourselves in our world, then the very thing we seek externally seems to magically find its way into our lives.

I have had relationships, clients, a ranch seemingly show up on my doorstep simply because I had a willingness and a desire to hold a different truth about myself.

It is that powerful.

So if I were to give you any piece of wisdom, to say, "Do this and transform your life!"

It would be this:

Take off the dirty, broken, distorted lens that you wear, that colors your view, not just on your world, but on yourself, and replace it with something more favourable.

Seek out your strengths, love yourself up, empower the places of brilliance within you and you too can watch how drastically it shifts your world.

I recognize that it is not always such a simple and easy thing to do.

And what if you just tried it?

Just for a week, or a month or a day, and see how things shifted.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you do.

Love,
Your coach and guide,
Hillary

 

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